I was sitting in the second-last bench in the super-tiring English class, when my friend beside me whispered, “Hey, it’s a long time since we have kissed, like for two months, I’ve not kissed her”. He was an average guy but had great luck with girls. ’Her’ meant his two year old nerdy girlfriend (very cute). So, they have not kissed for two months. “Tell me how I will kiss her”. He must have read some of my blogs! I said solemnly, “Just kiss”. He didn’t seem satisfied.
Next day, I saw a huge box of chocolate labelled ‘Compliments’ popping out of his bag. I thought that day was his birthday! But, unfortunately, he gave the box to his girlfriend and said “I love you very much”. Wow, we all knew that (laugh). She was hesitant, but took it. I knew he was expecting a kiss. Forget it, she gave a quick smile and went to her music class. So, this was his way of kissing and getting kissed. He was like, “Wait a min, at least I will kiss you” in his mind. So, complimenting with a box of chocolates worth Rs. 500 doesn’t work.
If you see its meaning, ‘compliments’ will be defined as ‘admire or praise someone for something’. We all like to get compliments. And most of us like to compliment others. But, 99% of the total compliments are done in a wrong way.
True Compliments, False Compliments and Unconditionality
Think about the last time you complimented someone, your mom, girlfriend, boyfriend, anyone. Why did you compliment them? Did you really wanted to praise and appreciate or just wanted something in return? A compliment isn’t a compliment anymore when it is done for getting a favour. Why does a random guy at a bar buys girls drinks? So that they would sit and talk with him. Why does your bestie tell his girlfriend that she is beautiful and he is so affected by her? So that she likes him and praises in return. These aren’t compliments, these are deals. Everyone will see through this underlying theory and you are just messed up. These are false compliments.
Compliment when you are genuinely inspired. And compliment directly. Compliment yourself often, but only when you are genuinely proud of yourself foe a great reason (not for getting a superb date) Do not mirror talk. It sucks.
One day in history classroom, I told a girl she is very beautiful (she frowned, I always found her beautiful. Nothing special). Okay, so after, like, four days, she laughed on something and I said, “Wow, you look so cute when you cock up your nose while laughing” And she blushed.
One afternoon, I was strolling down the local park and saw a girl of my age walking towards me. I didn’t knew her. She was totally stranger. She was very beautiful. By very, I mean very. So, I literally stopped her and said that she was gorgeous. She just gleamed. I knew, this was one of the best compliments on her beauty she had ever received. I do not compliment expecting others to give something in return. I do not compliment for a reaction. I do not care what others think. I do not care about their reply. I just want to express myself to them at that moment and that’s it. No strings attached. This is true compliment, this is rare. Feel like this sometimes and see for yourself how it affects your life.
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