Anxiety And Some Changes To Lifesfinewhine

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This is what was found offensive

Due to multiple comments about my awards posts and how they were apparently offensive this blog is now awards free. What was once one of the most fun posts to do have now become a constant trigger for my anxiety. This comment was the first thing I read when I woke up on Sunday and was so taken aback by how someone could misconstrue my words that I had a panic attack after almost four years without them. I have already been stressed and anxious and this felt like the last straw. Now whenever I think of this post or any of my awards posts I feel extremely anxious. Due to this I will most likely delete all my awards posts by the end of the week as my brain has now unfortunately associated them with negativity and I don’t want to feel constantly anxious when I see the awards category on my blog.

I would also like to say that words are very powerful and the way you choose to use them can truly hurt someone especially if they already have mental health problems. I receive quite a few hate comments most of which I delete without really thinking too much about them but this one really hurt my feelings. I have gone out of my way to help bloggers by opening a share and promote page. I answer all the questions bloggers ask me about blogging the best I can. I have tried to spread light and positivity on WordPress.

I don’t understand why people feel justified attacking me and then telling me to get thicker skin. Yes the Internet is going to have people who disagree and I am okay with someone disagreeing with me or with giving me feedback on how to improve my blog but I am not okay with someone attacking my character and accusing me of something I didn’t do. Please choose how you give someone feedback wisely because it could really hurt someone. Also people who are sensitive due to their mental health problems are allowed to do things they enjoy. Why should I stop blogging, put disclaimers or shut off my comments which bring me so much joy just because people don’t know how to just move on instead of leaving negative comments.

Anyway I apologise to anyone who may have found my awards posts offensive I did not mean to offend anyone in anyway. You know that I love all of your blogs and the only reason I don’t nominate people is because I don’t know who accepts awards and who doesn’t, plus I’m usually very busy with school and don’t have time to check everyone’s blogs to see if they accept awards. I’m also sorry to everyone who nominated me for most likely deleting the posts by the end of the week depending on how anxious I feel- I truly appreciate the nomination but the posts have just become a major trigger for my anxiety and panic attacks and I can’t have them on my blog anymore. Thank you for your understanding and thank you to everyone who leaves positive comments/feedback in a positive way on my blog you are very appreciated.

Edit/update: the blogger who wrote the comment has reached out and apologized.

115 comments

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  1. Garrett Karrot

    screw those people. you should post whatever you feel like posting on your blog.

    it’s not even about having thick skin; it’s more about having a place where you post what you want.

    people are gonna say things, but it’s always a reflection of their own selves, not of who you truly are.

    i personally enjoy reading your posts. they are very light reads and help me to unwind and also get to know a bit more about the blogger (aka you).

    anyway, whatever you decide to do, i hope that comment doesn’t leave too big an impression on you.

    love and light

    Liked by 10 people

  2. Antonio Allevato

    Anxiety is awful, when I was younger I felt like I had panic attacks daily. It’s such a nasty feeling that I was almost willing to do anything to get rid of the source of it all.

    It’s sad to hear something you’ve enjoyed so much has become a source of anxiety due to several responses you’ve received.

    Whatever you decide to do with your award posts, I just hope it comes from a place of joy. Fear and panic can be powerful motivators, but make poor teachers.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ICT Genealogist

    I wasn’t offended. I don’t have a problem with people who post awards they receive. I haven’t considered any of your award posts to be conceited.

    One alternative would be to remove the category/tag for Awards if that will lessen your anxiety and keep the posts.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Life of Hayley

    I love reading your awards posts and was never offended by them! It’s a great way to get to know you as the writer behind the blog. I’m so sorry that these terrible comments were made on your posts but please know that not everyone feels that way and we value your words and the meanings behind them.

    Anxiety is horrible and I completely understand your decision to no longer do award posts. You have to put your mental health first and do what is best for you! ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much for your supportive words I truly appreciate them and I think I’ll keep the posts and see how I feel in a few days when I’m not so fueled by anxiety/emotions.

      Like

  5. Stardreamer

    I do nit understand why people get offended easily these days. I am sorry this happened to you. This is why I try to help fight the stigma of Anxiety/Depression. Very few people seem to understand what we have to go thru. I hope you keep the posts, but understsnd if you don’t.💖

    Liked by 2 people

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much and thanks for spreading awareness about mental health. As you can see we still have a long way to go before these stigma’s are finally gone. I have decided to keep the posts and continue doing awards. Thanks again!

      Like

  6. Charity

    I never know who will do tag/awards either. I actually had a “I’m not doing this” in my comment section from one blogger I tagged. Yikes! 😭 I think to myself, wow, just say “thank you” and ignore the tag because there is no need to make someone feel bad for tagging you. I would never do that in someone’s comments.

    I can totally understand going award free. It is nerve racking trying to pick people to give the award to! I almost want to hide after posting because I have no idea who will be upset with me. 😬

    You are not alone. {{hugs}} 💕

    Liked by 3 people

    • PoojaG

      Yeah that’s actually why I initially stopped because the majority of people I was tagging told me not to tag them since they don’t do awards although a lot more nicely then you were told that’s kind of rude and uncalled for…

      Thank you so much for the support!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. jesusluvsall

    I thought he was out of line for several reasons.

    First of all- by virtue of the fact that you have 13,000+ followers means that if you thank the person who nominated you and share their blog site, you ARE networking. By doing so you give exposure for that blogger to your followers.

    Secondly- by opening it up to anyone, you give all of your followers a chance to participate.

    My list could go on, but the person who made the comment comes across as having the huge ego to me, not you.

    I enjoy your quirky answers and your sense of humor as you answer the questions.

    I am sorry you received such a message. You did not deserve it.

    Liked by 8 people

  8. Blushy Ginger | Sadie

    I’m upset on your behalf. To me, the question of whether it’s “right” or “wrong” to accept awards while leaving the nominee section open to anyone is completely secondary to the fact that the commenter attacked your character personally.

    Sure, everyone is entitled to an opinion, but if that opinion is to call someone vain then maybe keep that opinion to yourself and just stick to useful ctitique. Something constructive like, “It might be worth considering that part of the purpose of the award is to highlight new bloggers blah blah blah.”

    There is no need to insult you, or hurt you.

    I completely understand your anxiety in this situation. I would have reacted the same way. If/when I get that kind of comment down the road, I will probably be just as triggered and devastated.

    This is not about you. This is not about whether you accept awards or *how* you accept awards. This is the “one in ten jerk rule” — not my words, something I learned from my therapists. Sometimes people do things that are not very nice.

    I hope that reading all these supportive comments can help ease some of the pain. xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Richard Le Sueur

    Upon reading your post I got upset. Not at you, or even the comments you were referring to. Just upset, as I do suffer from depression and lack of self esteem at times so I definitely know how it feels.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Richard Le Sueur

      You and I are at different ends of the life spectrum, you being young and me being old, yet in a number of ways we are quite similar. Please keep on being you and I will support you fully.

      Life throws many different things at us as we move forward and we do the very best we can to deal with them.

      Catch you further on down the blog road. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • Richard Le Sueur

        As you were replying to my comment, which I much appreciate, I was reading your next two posts.

        So now I say, know that you are loved, as a human, as an individual, by many people, including me. I will continue to support you, and will be here if you ever want someone to yell, talk or whisper to. Thank you for sharing my friend!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. potatosandwich

    Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Thick skin is one thing and that doesn’t mean one takes such words on the chin. Remember it’s your blog, your personal space to Express, not to please. If someone is offended then ok, but they can take a break from reading your posts. Keep doing what you’re doing. Always like reading. Don’t let anyone disturb your inner peace.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Hilary Tan

    This is just sad. What I liked about your awards were the honesty and slice of life through your eyes. People these days get offended over every little thing it seems. 🤦‍♀️ Honestly, keep the awards up and keep doing them especially if it was something you [once] enjoyed. By taking them down, you’re giving the haters power. We can’t run from anxiety (it never completely goes away), and avoiding these awards to silence the haters isn’t exactly pulling at the root of the problem if that makes sense.🌱

    Just Keep doing you. Be your authentic self. 😇 By making these modifications, I hate to say this, but it deviates away from being your authentic self. Let your personality shine and ignore the haters. It’s not worth keeping them around as followers anyways. They aren’t your people/flock/tribe.

    Liked by 3 people

    • ceponatia

      I agree with Hilary (as usual 😉 (I’ve always struggled with how to close a parenthesis that has a smiley face at the end). I’ve had a few comments cause huge anxiety in me in the past and usually edited my “offensive” post or even deleted it immediately. I always regret that in the long run, because IT IS WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO SAY, but I can admit that the feeling in the moment is overwhelming.

      Liked by 2 people

    • PoojaG

      Yeah people are just so sensitive about stupid insignificant things like this. It’s ridiculous. I agree with what you said and I’ve decided to keep them up and keep doing awards posts because I’m not going to let my anxiety control me. Thank you so much for your comment I really appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Harry Katz

    If it comes with an obligation to respond or act in a particular way, such as to “get you to spread the word about thier blog” then it is not an award at all. It’s manipulation. And no one has the right to do that to you.

    Take care.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. A. Shepherdson

    😳Omg the arrogance of Basil is staggering! First off poojaG you blog however way you wish to blog and blow what anyone else says, I’ve been awarded several occasions and I prefer not to pressure other bloggers into answering questions, like you I consider awards as a question challenge, as such the answers can be entertain reading.

    🙄LOL there’s no pleasing some people, if I was you I’d carry on doing awards just to piss him off! 😂❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    • PoojaG

      Haha I agree it has way more to do with answering the questions and getting to know the blogger in my opinion. If networking is the only reason you’re blogging then perhaps for you that may be the only reason to do awards but I blog because I enjoy it and therefore I personally didn’t think not nominating specific people would be a problem. Thanks for your comment!

      Like

  14. K. Carter

    I’m sorry you’ve been at the receiving end of this-please understand it’s more of a reflection of their personality than yours.
    The support and genuine friendship you’ve had in these comments is beautiful to read and is the proof of the effects of your wonderful blog!
    If I were you I’d take few deep breaths and write a great post on yourself or maybe your journey with anxiety. Show him that blogging is about sharing in different ways and that his opinion is not yours or your other followers!
    Stay strong lovely!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Eromonsele Emmanuel

    I love your blog PoojaG and I never want you to stop! I started my blog in 2018 and you were one of my first followers. My friend also started one and you also followed. Not only that, you also leave a comment every now and then.
    P.S. I think you should keep doing you! Those awards are always worth it and I enjoy every one of them.
    You should never give in to people who want you to belittle your strides and multiple achievements that’s why I feel you shouldn’t delete those award posts.
    Love you PoojaG!

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Vanessa Kanu

    Or, you could be you, and do you. If that means award posts, then have fun. There is no power in words. The only power is the MEANING you give them. The meaning I got from your award posts is that you’re doing well and having fun. The meaning those other people got is that you babe a huge ego. What meaning will you ascribe to their reaction?

    It seems like their posts are about you, but they aren’t. Their posts are about THEM and how THEY feel. You do not need to own that.

    Finally, it’s hard to get ahead I’m anything you do if you constantly let people’s opinions stop you from expressing yourself. Your audience is your audience. Those who aren’t, are not. You could never be a blessing to the world if you keep holding back because of a few people who want you to dim your lights.

    Some days are super hot. Yet…

    The sun doesn’t apologize for shining.

    Liked by 3 people

    • PoojaG

      I agree after thinking about it I realised like you said it has more to do with them then me. I’m going to continue doing what I enjoy and if they don’t like it they are free to unfollow/not read my posts. Thanks for your comment.

      Like

  17. Marilyn

    Hi Pooja,
    I enjoy your posts because your experience and life style is so different from mine and it gives me another perspective. I chose to follow you and so I can choose which of your posts I read thoroughly or just skim read.
    I don’t read the awards posts because it’s not something I’m interested in – not because I find them offensive. The person who sent you the rude, inappropriate comment sounds like they’ve taken the time to read a lot of them. That’s their choice and nothing to do with you. Perhaps they were having a bad time and needed to shoot down someone who is clearly in tune with an awful lot of fellow bloggers. Unfortunately they picked on you which demonstrates to me that they don’t read your blog enough to know of your extreme anxiety difficulties.
    My advice (for what it is worth) : burn the toxic comment like the trash it is; choose a favourite stone or incense and use to cleanse your anxiety; rise like a phoenix from the ashes and continue to be yourself.
    Enjoy Tuesday – and please do not change a thing.
    XXX

    Liked by 2 people

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much for your comment! I agree with what you said I mean I don’t think anyone reads every single post of mine especially the awards posts which I totally understand because I blog about a number of topics and people usually read whichever topic they are interested in. After meditating for a bit and understanding my feelings and the situation better I realised it had more to do with them then with me. Thanks again!

      Like

  18. ceponatia

    I’m sorry to hear that this has triggered your anxiety after so long without an attack. There is a huge mental “health” community on WordPress, of which your criticizer is clearly from. I don’t want to launch an attack in your comments section so all I’ll say is even a cursory glance at their blog unveils someone who should not be pointing fingers at anybody else.
    They say that people who insult or criticize you are often saying more about themselves than you, which I believe, but I know that the damage has unfortunately already been done. I wish there was anything your fans could say to make you feel better but I know that words are often hollow in this regard.
    Keep your chin up and keep doing what you do! Your blog is one of the few out there that I am excited to see a new post from every day. I have been reading everything you write for, gosh, probably two years now. You’re talented and brilliant. Haters just mean you’re doing something right. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much your words really do mean a lot to me and all the positive comments I have received has really helped a lot. I agree often times what people say about others is more of a reflection of themselves. Thanks again!

      Like

  19. Sharon

    PoojaG that is so sad to hear, I actually thought your response to the blog awards was perfect, so much so I followed your lead and did exactly the same thing when someone passed on the sunshine blogger award to me, I just invited everyone who read the blog to participate. Blog awards work like chain letters and I always thought your response was the absolute height of courtesy to other bloggers. Please don’t let one thoughtless comment cause you anxiety. I am sure there are more readers who admire the way you deal with the blog awards than those that express something negative. 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Brendan Birth

    I actually didn’t find your award nomination posts offensive at all. Award nomination posts for me are always fun because it’s an opportunity to share more of yourself that you otherwise might not share on your blog. That being said, I totally understand why you’re not going to do such posts anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. ashleyleia

    That comment was totally uncalled for. Blog awards are very time-consuming to do “properly”, and I see plenty of bloggers who skip the nominations part for a variety of reasons. If people don’t like it, they should just stop reading and move on.

    Liked by 4 people

  22. D_Wall

    Unfortunately, this is just the downside of having a popular blog. The more people you reach, the more likely you’ll run into someone who disagrees with something you’ve written and feels compelled to tell you. Don’t apologize. You can’t make everyone happy so you should write what you feel. As for the awards, I found it ironic that he accused you of being conceited but made it seem like the only purpose for these was self-promotion.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. SHRUTI DUBEY

    Hey, the more successful you become the more number of such people you will have. Screw them, you are doing a fantastic job. If there are 10 people who don’t like your work. There are 1000s who admire it. Keep the good work up!

    Liked by 2 people

  24. tianiangelahibbert

    First off, I am so sorry you had to go through a panic attack because of this. I know the feeling and its not fun. I know my opinion doesn’t count but trust me, I loved seeing you get nominated! I was actually genuinely happy for you! Never would I have thought you would be conceited or narcissistic because of posting awards. You do an amazing job at shining light her on WordPress. I am so glad I found your blog. Forget those people sending hate. They aren’t worth the time. But of course you have to do whats best for your mental health. Im always here if you need someone to talk to! Keep posting those awards… you are doing amazing sweety (I hope you know this Mean Girls reference) 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much for your kind words and now that I’ve taken some time to process my feelings I’ve decided to keep the posts and continue doing awards. Thanks again and lol I loveeee Mean Girls!!

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Gauri

    I’m sorry to hear this triggered feelings of anxiety and a panic attack! Please do what you need to take care of yourself. I don’t have much else to add that hasn’t already been commented here, but I’ll reiterate that your award posts didn’t come across offensive. That being said, we can’t please everyone. I hope you’re able to make space for the feelings that the particular comment brought up, and let yourself feel validated in your feelings. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. AmandaSushma

    I’m sorry Pooja! Comments like that are the worst, like you said, people don’t realize the power of their words. Totally understand why you’re going to stop doing the awards, but just wanted you to know that it was never offensive. That person is definitely in the minority. Honestly, if something ‘irks’ someone, the normal thing to do would be to stop reading, not make a personality analysis. 🙄 Anyone who reads your posts would know that what he wrote is completely off base.

    It was really fun getting to know you through those award posts. Again, I’m sorry that it made your panic attack come back, but just know that a lot of us are here to support you and we enjoy your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • PoojaG

      Thank you so much and after processing my feelings a bit more I realised this comment had more to do with them then with me and like you said I can’t please everyone so I decided to continue doing awards post! Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. limitlessmare

    Pardon me saying so, but people sure can be A~holes…….I’m truly sorry you’ve had such a shit experience. I read a really good quote today and I hope it will give you some comfort: “If we could read the secret history of our enemies we shall find in each man’s sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” Henry W Longfellow
    I’m personally attempting to apply this wisdom to my own mother who sent me a 7 page letter on my bday telling me all the ways I’m going to hell.
    We got this girl! Big hugs to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. m11bna

    This hurt me. I can’t even imagine what you went through. But remember one thing. Your post is about You! So share as you please. You have come this far, because we like it. Don’t give in to haters. Sending ❤️ your way. Be YOU x

    Liked by 1 person

  29. charlypriest

    Let me see… so you make this award or give them out or whatever really, the point is that it is your blog, yes the other commentator said had a valid point that those awards is to pass them along to other bloggers, network, and give traffic to others-everybody wins. But it is your blog, you have many followers so don’t expect for every each of them to like everything you post every day or most days. Plus the comments where not disrespectful, they just didn’t like it and Period. Don’t give it any more thoughts, stop putting other posts saying how sorry you are, sorry for what? If I had to say sorry for each post that offended people I would be saying sorry all day long every day. It´s pointless. You said you enjoyed it right? So if YOU enjoyed it ( As well as the majority of people that read you) then keep on, do not bend because someone didn’t like it, that is cowardly (excuse me for saying it) this is just internet, a simple blog. You seem like a young woman (if that is your true picture in gravatar) so you probably have been in this social media since age 1 or less, social media is not you nor your life, it´s the simplest of the parts in life.
    You write good, your blog is interesting, so keep doing what you like and enjoy. And for a couple of people that don’t like it who the hell cares.

    Stay Frosty gentess.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Patty

    Hi dear Pooja,
    Well, sounds like you are a rebel, just like me, haha. I often didn’t even answer the questions. Probably why I don’t receive them anymore.
    An award is a GIFT of acknowledgement and I never felt obligated to pass them on either. So, please keep being you and doing what makes sense to YOU.
    Big hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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