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This Is Perfection

July 26, 2020 /

She looked into their breathtaking garden
Husband and children playing happily
Fortune, fame, family, fashion
She had everything
She was
Perfect
Alone
She cried
Every single night
She resented his touch
She never really wanted kids
She sold her soul- for perfection.

I was inspired to write this a few nights back when I couldn’t sleep and this kind of just came to me. I think it stemmed from these YouTube videos I had been watching about the lives of influencers/famous people and how they were rich and famous but their lives were just very sad. I kind of just wanted to bring out the contrast between what you see and what is really going on behind the scenes. Usually people only out the good stuff out there- they never talk about the bad stuff but that doesn’t mean that it’s not there. No one can achieve perfection and everyone has their flaws and problems and that’s okay.
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158 Comments

  • Pete

    July 26, 2020 at 2:46 am

    Ever since mankind deviated from God’s plan in Eden, there’s been a spell, a curse of imperfection on this planet. It is a reality many want to deny yet the rivers and oceans will die and we all can’t eat blueberries to jump with joy and live forever in this world.
    When something looks perfect, the cracks will soon show.
    Even after the Spirit in the Sky came here dressed as a human and bought back his real estate from death, he and his tremendous effort got ridiculed. As mankind is self-destructive and in denial.
    So, as long as we are that arrogant, things can only ever appear perfect but we never will be. Until we accept the graceful deemed perfection, that is.

  • justcalmwildness

    July 26, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    Beautiful and profound. Sometimes we let society tell us what is good for us and then we fall into a bottomless pit of sadness and no one really understand how you can be sad with all that you have.

  • Zainab Chats

    July 26, 2020 at 3:50 pm

    I think this poetry has such a great message about how sometimes you don’t know what people are really going through! I actually saw a quote, i don’t remember it will but it was saying something similar to ‘sometimes the happiest people are actually the saddest people’ i think that really relates to you poetry! Great post!

  • Well Minds By Erica

    July 27, 2020 at 8:52 am

    This is beautiful. And unfortunately tells such a true story. This society that we live in tells us what sort of life we shluld have, people don’t always feel free to live how they like, instead they feel pressured to conform to ‘the norm’.

        • PoojaG

          August 2, 2020 at 10:32 pm

          Yeah I can understand why that happens. I think for a lot of people money would solve a lot of problems they currently have but I think they don’t realise that money comes with it’s own problems that you then have.

          • oviate

            August 2, 2020 at 10:52 pm

            It’s more isolating.
            I think I’d both not have problems and have a lot. I’m super introverted to where I’m near a hermit.. that wouldn’t impact me but I’m also near the point of being a hermit and any time out in public is often “Cameron is an a-hole..” since I’m not interactive.
            One that.. Dave Chappelle lives nearby and he goes around and no one cares at all. He’s out a few days ago with david letterman and no one cared one bit.

          • PoojaG

            August 3, 2020 at 1:55 am

            I’m very introverted too so I would not mind the isolation but I think what would make me a bit crazy would be the paranoia like do people really like me or is it for the money.
            Ooh that’s cool I guess everyone is just used to Dave Chappelle being around.

          • oviate

            August 3, 2020 at 4:26 pm

            John Legend is about 10 minutes down the road from Chapelle..
            Which is kinda my point because that’s actually a top notch community family who has that weird Epstein conspiracy theory going around about his wife.. lol
            That’s the crap that freaks me out about “fame”..

          • oviate

            August 3, 2020 at 11:57 pm

            You gonna be the next Ellen? Haha
            I think being rich I’d fly under the radar because I’m both frugal and not showy.
            I also learned to never discuss money with coworkers and friends because they HATE you if you have money.. (in most cases)
            Fame is a ????
            Need a thick skin for that.

          • PoojaG

            August 4, 2020 at 2:10 am

            Lol the next Ellen is what I’m aiming for 😂
            Yeah I would probably be one of those secluded rich people. I would live on my private island with my cats. Fame is definitely a double edged sword.

          • oviate

            August 4, 2020 at 2:12 am

            The Ellen thing is funny to me for some reason.
            A lot of that could be dealt with internally and not bombarding her because of George W. Bush..

          • PoojaG

            August 4, 2020 at 5:27 am

            Yeah I don’t know why or how everyone suddenly just attacked her all of a sudden- I feel like it’s more than the Bush thing- but that’s the problem with cancel culture.

          • oviate

            August 5, 2020 at 2:56 am

            Twitter represents about 15% of the population but are the loudest voices.
            Nothing good comes from it. lol
            I don’t fully get the Ellen issue, some of it is just what you’d expect from Hollywood. And I’m sure Ellen is kind of both the usual messed up comedian with an inflated ego OR just frankly sick of the show not caring. I don’t know. All I DO know is.. if there really was a major problem and no one spoke out until it was cool to do so .. blame goes both ways.

          • PoojaG

            August 5, 2020 at 11:41 pm

            Yeah I feel like that about a lot of the stuff coming out these days. Like some people are just talking about it because the topics are trending not because they actually care.

          • oviate

            August 6, 2020 at 9:36 pm

            Fear of being blacklisted is probably a part. But still…
            I would assume generally that Ellen is actually mean in real life because most celebrities are. Especially comedians. That part doesn’t bother me.
            I doubt she actually runs her show and production company so I don’t hold that against her either.
            Semi related: I kinda feel bad for Johnny Depp because those court documents came out and his side of the story makes complete sense.

          • PoojaG

            August 7, 2020 at 3:32 am

            Yeah I feel like most famous people are kind of mean/rude/self-absorbed to an extent. It’s impossible not to be when you have thousands of fans worship you every day.
            Really? I’m not totally caught up with the whole Johnny Depp situation. I’ll go read up on it.

          • oviate

            August 7, 2020 at 7:25 pm

            Easy answer..
            Depp married Heard (or whatever) out of nowhere and supposedly they both had a drug problem (shocker, may explain the sudden marriage).. then Depp went into rehab as she didn’t.. then Depp found out he didn’t make any money from the Pirates movies because his handlers stole all of it where Heard became enraged and violent.
            Which makes sense because why would someone marry someone suddenly who had no money even if it’s Johnny Depp?
            Say what you want about Depp, if he was like $460,000,000 in debt I doubt anyone would jump to marry him.
            It makes sense to me more so than the other version.

          • oviate

            August 8, 2020 at 7:06 pm

            Some would..
            but … I could understand a person getting violent and trying to publicly humiliate a person to ruin their lives for personal gain if they believed a person was worth half a billion who actually wasn’t.

          • oviate

            August 9, 2020 at 2:28 pm

            I also noticed public opinion changed once Depp let himself go and actually looked 57.. haha. He’s 57 or whatever.. we know who he is.
            The new thing is Ellen is contacting other persons employers to complain about guests nail polish being chipped or something. I’d need to see the context of all of that crap especially since she’s a comedian.

          • PoojaG

            August 10, 2020 at 3:32 am

            Yeah looks are so important- unfortunately.
            Yeah I would need to know the context. Also there is little actual evidence if you know what I mean. Like a lot of it is just what people have to say.

          • oviate

            August 10, 2020 at 3:40 pm

            There’s no laws written saying bring a snob is illegal.
            With Ellen that’s all I’m seeing is she’s a bit snooty. Alright..
            I could handle fame if it was on my terms I suppose.. if I was famous for something I just kinda did anyways where it wasn’t some chore which may result in me just not wanting to be famous. .. ha

          • PoojaG

            August 11, 2020 at 12:41 am

            Yeah but like most famous people are snooty- or at least I think that they are. Like we all think certain people are nice and certain people are mean based on what we know about them but what you see in the media is just a tiny fraction of who they really are.
            Lol being famous as long as you don’t need to change anything- that actually sounds really good!

          • oviate

            August 11, 2020 at 12:53 am

            I don’t like attention, but I like conversation. Typically one on one and definitely not public speaking.
            Seems like celebrities talk about the same thing and it’s all screened so it’s unnatural to a degree. I’d also say Ellen running a talk show the larger celebrities would get priority which seems like what most of the complaints are about.
            Internal harassment probably happens in every work place and McDonald’s has been on the news for the same thing.

          • PoojaG

            August 11, 2020 at 5:30 am

            Yeah I like conversation too and definitely no to public speaking.
            Yeah I mean I would expect that different celebs get treated differently on her show depending on who they are. I don’t know I just don’t see what the big deal is or why people are so surprised. Internal harassment happens everywhere. Like companies are on the news all the time because of it.

          • oviate

            August 12, 2020 at 9:20 pm

            I was going to congratulate you on getting me to chat for days about celebrities, but I ended up reading something about me possibly doing that with a moral twist in my astrology chart last night. Ha! I forget what, I think it’s an astroid.
            It seems to me that all the anger towards Ellen is just from twitter so celebrity gossip crap covers it like it’s a real thing.
            It’s enough that we have a Twitter troll as president. Lessons should be learned…

          • PoojaG

            August 13, 2020 at 5:48 am

            Lol congratulations to you too- I don’t normally talk to people for more a bit because it’s exhausting but this was quite interesting!
            I find it very ironic that Twitter criticises people for attacking people but they do the exact same thing. Like they are literally bullies too trying to cancel people- a lot of whom haven’t done anything or have changed.

          • oviate

            August 13, 2020 at 10:24 am

            It’s my Vesta in the 3rd.. by following my soul passion I engage with beautiful women.. 🥰 but I’m celibate ..
            kidding, it says that.
            I think it’s Pallas also in the 3rd that said the celebrity thing but it may be pop culture in general that’s used as a sort of moral example of sorts.. 🤷🏻
            I’ll have to read stuff again. It’s been busy and I’m scattered. I actually have spent most of my social time over here on this thread.
            Bush wasn’t a good president and he has the whole war thing, he’s not a bad person; he just had nas people around him.
            Twitter overreacts to stuff.

          • PoojaG

            August 13, 2020 at 7:23 pm

            Twitter definitely overeats and I think the problem is that celebs are seen like godlike or something. We expect them to be perfect examples but of course they’re not perfect they’re just human which means they will mess up some time or the other.

          • oviate

            August 13, 2020 at 7:43 pm

            I’ve been guilty of “troll” like behavior and I can say it’s just nitpicking being upset about something ENTIRELY different. Other times it’s just debate/conversation.
            Troll like = just nitpicking, not actually insulting people. I suppose it’s right on that line..
            But that’s in part just because I don’t like social media.
            I’m not bragging, but people are often entertained by what I’ll say/write up to just enjoying reading what I say without responding other than to keep it going. In day to day real like I’m as dull as a doorknob.. lol
            Hypothetically, if we knew each other, the contrast is extremely strange because I mostly observe and don’t respond. I’ve done some public speaking in the past and it’s something you just get used to until you stop; then it gets awkward again. These days I may REALLY hate it because people are open about nitpicking every little thing. If I was a public figure I’d drop all social media to avoid reading any of it.

          • PoojaG

            August 14, 2020 at 4:08 am

            I’m the same way- I can write but in real life I’m probably a very low-key, boring/dull person. I guess that’s kind of how a lot of writers are since most of the interesting stuff happens in our head. If I was famous I would definitely not use social media and I would try to avoid anything on the internet that was about me. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

          • oviate

            August 14, 2020 at 11:14 am

            This would be some sexy pillow talk..
            …..
            You actually hit a lot I’d have lot to say about but I can’t respond until later. Lol
            I’ll utilize that double comment and say an “essay” is coming..
            If I had a saddle, I’d use it and ride that all night.. huh?
            It’ll take a while so I figured I’d throw in some weird and explain it later.
            It’ll be several hours before I have time to actually respond. I’d feel bad ignoring I read stuff too.

          • oviate

            August 13, 2020 at 11:25 pm

            Oh.. Vesta in Sagittarius 3rd is probably part of why I’m into 👻 and 👽 and many weird things I’ve discussed with you in comments..
            So, things I forgot. I agree people expect famous people to be absolutely perfect and some comes from that. But I think the issue is people spot their own imperfections in celebrities and take it out on them. And, yes, cancel culture just makes it worse. I highly doubt a great goal is ruining another persons life who may actually turn and help the cause. This happened in West Virginia where they wanted a governor to resign over dressing up like Michael Jackson in college; he’s actually making a big difference up to removing confederate monuments.
            Thing is: only White people who didn’t live in the state were upset and wanted him to resign. He just waiting it out.
            Trump used cancel culture to win an election.
            I can’t find the astroid that said I actually like to discuss celebrities, maybe I do and don’t fully notice it. lol
            It’s also weird that anyone who’s followed my blog has likely seen me naked so maybe I’m not all that anxious or uncomfortable on some levels because that doesn’t bother me where I think about it.
            At some point I do want to focus on my aversion to public speaking or just not being that engaged in actual conversation.
            Double comment achievement achieved!

          • PoojaG

            August 14, 2020 at 4:34 am

            Woohoo double comment! I’m okay at public speaking now if there aren’t too many people because I’m forced to do it at university for seminars however if I had the choice I would definitely avoid public speaking forever lol.
            Yeah you’re right a big part of it is seeing our own flaws in them and hating them because we hate that part of ourselves. And what happened with that governor is exactly the problem with cancel culture- they don’t take anything else into account and freak out about stuff. Sometimes for no reason like when Paw Patrol was jokingly being cancelled and people didn’t realise that and jumped on the bandwagon and tried to cancel it for real.

          • oviate

            August 14, 2020 at 7:53 pm

            I’m tired so I’ll go ahead and edit my essay response.. lol
            Yes, the paw patrol thing was funny, but I was also rolling my eyes because that’s why so many movements fail. I’m pretty sure the paw patrol thing was just a troll, but this happens so often you just expect it. I wouldn’t credit media and entertainment as much as so many do, but if people have that weakness of influence themselves then it may seem like a big deal to them. There may be a reason why Twitter is how it is related to cancel culture if there’s a level of narcissism feeding off each other.
            Basically: celebrities and they often use Twitter who have large followings who get taken down by people who have a small fraction of that support.
            The humor with my previous comment will be explained now. 🤫
            In deciding what to do with my own writing (possibly the blog) I thought about just going about it in my regular conversational way. I’m slightly different on different platforms. Facebook I’m very cynical for example. In private I’m closer to what I am on WordPress but I often throw in random side humor that’s intentionally off putting because I actually think that way. So on one have I overthink and over analyze everything where I get so dull I bore myself which is often followed by a bit of humorous humility by saying something I’m actually thinking that’s way out from left field.
            I love philosophy and psychology, but after a certain point I’ll just say it’s all a big brain fart just because it sort of is. It’s a knock on myself especially if I start feeling like a pseudo-intellectual taking myself too seriously OR I don’t want myself being taken too seriously by others.
            In private I do it a lot where I’ll toss out a strange duality often to just get a laugh and I consider this as maybe my schtick with writing/communication because it’s not that common. In THAT, you’d notice my aversion to fame of a sort isn’t all it’s cracked up to be if I’m considering these things in the back of my head or consciously..
            So, “sexy pillow talk” and so on is something I throw in just to break a mood to make things more entertaining by it being unexpected which is SUCH a marketing ploy.. lol.. but my head is really that way. That’s why I’m such a dull doorknob in regular daily life; I have so many possible responses I usually don’t pick any.
            Any out of nowhere flirting is kinda serious but done in a way to make fun of it which you seem to catch onto well.
            That’s my next point: with stuff like BLM and that paw patrol.. you and I have fun random conversations and we connect really well despite (on paper) that not seeming to be the case. We are worlds apart.. I think it goes with a blog you had about feeling different which is how I’ve felt most of my life, yet.. on paper, I shouldn’t feel that way. Movements try too hard to avoid finding these cross connections that can bring people together for some reason and the push back will even pick up the connection to pull people away. Like “all lives matter”. Once that started the discussion on how police brutality affects everyone gets shut down because the context it’s used is racist. And since I just did it.. you’re totally a smart sexy type and I often think..
            It’s only fun when it’s unexpected. I’m also amused by Vesta in astrology right now which took me all week to figure out what that even means.. it’s the burning soul passion you have that’s better than sex and that’s why I keep joking about “pillow talk”.
            That was still MUCH longer than I expected despite trimming it down.

          • PoojaG

            August 18, 2020 at 1:09 am

            The Paw Patrol thing started out as a joke but people who did not realise it was a joke thought it was real and without actually doing any research decided to start making actual posts trying to cancel Paw Patrol and it pretty much turned into a thing for no reason 🤦🏽‍♀️
            I feel like I’m different on each platform too but I guess we all have different aspects to our personality and some platforms are better for expressing certain things more than others. I feel like on social media like Instagram I’m more feminine and kind of bubbly but on WP like you I’m much closer to who I really am in real life.
            The problem with most movements throughout history has been that they are not intersectional enough. The movements that do work are intersectional and have the ability of making everyone feel like they are a part of it because the only way to realy win is to have the support of the majority. Just my opinion as a history major.

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 1:13 am

            Now I get waiting to respond.
            I quit following the paw patrol thing shortly after it was said it was a joke and tuned out all of it because it became a long list of ridiculous things to cancel.
            I like that, your opinion as a history major. Okay, you win. I’m super bitchy on other platforms unless I’m playing with friends posts. Just playful funny comments like eating mayo gives you super powers.

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 9:48 pm

            Through that whole conversation.. it just now hit me my astrology chart has a specific purpose where I have to learn to upset/offend people because my bad karma is letting others run amok.
            So I’m fulfilling my destiny saying stuff like “mmm.. that booty… “ nah, it’s about finding the right chord and being 100% okay if others get upset or offended because it’s taking a sort of solo path. Which reminds me I need to look at the specifics on that because I’m curious what ties into it… freedom of expression without letting other play dictator. I guess flirting could be in that.
            Facebook is a bad place for 1 sided views that are often political and I’m extremely contrary. I’m private also… it probably just innately rubs me the wrong way.
            I don’t do Twitter, instagram, or falluuooozo. If I’m bitchy I could probably become a twitter star if I wanted my blood pressure near stroke 24 hours a day.
            I can be infuriating .. I could probably pull off getting some Pooja-rage.

          • PoojaG

            August 19, 2020 at 3:54 am

            Hmm very interesting. Lol I get mad fast so yes you could definitely get some Pooja-rage.
            I avoid Twitter as much as possible because I really don’t need that much toxic energy in my life. I don’t mind Instagram but only because I only look at pictures from people I like seeing. I avoid Facebook almost completely.

          • oviate

            August 19, 2020 at 8:35 pm

            It would depend on what makes you mad.
            Since we both have anxiety issues it may be easy to get why we’d get mad.
            My anxiety is just something that developed gradually over time and I know how to take care of it. That’s been my primary focus for quite some time. If I get bitchy it’s typically just an anxiety thing.
            I rarely go on Facebook but I use messenger a lot to keep up with friends.
            Blogs tend to have people who read and write.. often willing to discuss things where everything else is memes. I know almost nothing about instagram because I don’t care for pictures.
            Yeah, toxic..
            Careful, I have a saying that a person who talks a lot about toxic people is usually the toxic person! 😜😂
            You’re not toxic. Unless I met and you’re all 🤯…

          • oviate

            August 17, 2020 at 10:29 pm

            Completely forgot.. I keep bringing up public speaking because my bigger plan is to shift to something like a podcast and/or YouTube because I prefer the feedback loop without a format.
            My roots are in music so it’d be easy to shift to that because I’ll just have the equipment and I found during lockdown I found it more interesting chatting with bloggers than blogging. lol
            I’d rather set aside a 3 hour once a week format with no format than plan out steady streams of content.
            Even with being playful and joking it’s easier to read that I’m being playful and joking when it’s actually verbal… writing in comments or even a blog is clunky and awkward to me.
            Even if I’m just blogging I’m still blogging based on something someone else brought to my table; it feels more natural to me to just shift it to something more “live”.

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 12:57 am

            Do you ever get mental fatigue from writing or just being in your head too much?
            I get that way if I get too involved with writing of any kind even if it’s a FB messenger conversation.
            Fatigue or just kind of disoriented?
            I definitely get that way.
            I’d still love a written part, like an online magazine-ish blog organization. I’d just rather sit back a little.
            Sorry if play flirting rubbed you the wrong way, it was initially related to the Ellen thing… I was just playing.

          • PoojaG

            August 18, 2020 at 1:01 am

            Yeah I get mental fatigue sometimes and just need some time off from everything.
            Lol it didn’t offend me I just have been busy and haven’t had time to reply since your comment was really long but I was literally about to reply when I saw this.

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 1:09 am

            Oh, baby, you say all the right things. 🥰😘
            If you want humor, a real thing that happened that made me laugh was that I noticed chatting with you that i only find non White women attractive.
            There’s a serious part but I’m making light of it ESPECIALLY because of the context.
            I actually was all 🥺that I may have gone too far. I’m REALLY sleepy.

          • PoojaG

            August 18, 2020 at 1:25 am

            Lol I’ve been watching South Park since I was like 12 so we’re good 😂
            Lol us WOC are pretty awesome so I see why 🤷🏽‍♀️
            Omg go to sleep we’re good!

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 1:31 am

            Then you would have gotten my South Park Bully song reference with the woke jung quote! Damn! Missed opportunity. But there it is here.
            Damn right. You’re smart, tough, and sexy.
            Exotic with life experience. 💞
            Know how to get stuff done.

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 1:22 am

            I can sleep better now. Some people I don’t care about offending but was all “🥺 not my Pooja!”
            I’ll take you out for a netflix and chill date with nothing but paranormal movies..
            That’ll get ya ..👻
            Sweet dreams or whatever until later of write and I’ll respond sometime soon..

          • oviate

            August 18, 2020 at 9:36 pm

            I thought I was being creative but taking a woman to a scary movie is the standard date thing.. you win by default of me thinking I’m being clever but I’m cliche as hell..
            At least in the never-gonna-happen scenario that we were roommates I’d know how to get the place to myself.
            😀
            Knowledge I’ll never need to apply…

          • oviate

            August 19, 2020 at 8:43 pm

            I bet I could.. 😘
            I want to watch Lovecraft Country, but I can say now you’d hate that.
            I actually rarely watch horror movies. They’re not good anymore.
            PS: you know what you want because you’re looking for Collin Firth permanently stuck in character. I still haven’t watched the series. my lockdown ended before I got around to it. I like Amelie so I can’t pick on you for those types of movies.
            I could get you to watch one but I’d have to see how you’d respond to it to know if it’s worth it. 😂
            Psycho murderer movies would have you up all night telling me to check if the doors are locked! No! “Did you check the back seat of my car too?”
            Hell no! Ha..

  • An Ordinary Girl

    September 11, 2020 at 7:37 am

    What a meaningful poem! Yes, almost all of us have two sides to us. We’ve been conditioned to only share the good part of our life. Social media further enables this divide. I pledged to myself a few months back that instead of small talk, I’ll try to ask more meaningful questions when I interact with people. I wrote a post on this too; would you like to read it?

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